How to Handle Unsolicited Pregnancy Advice During the Holidays (or anytime)
“You’re planning a natural birth? That’s brave…”
“Don’t bother with a birth plan, it never goes that way anyway.”
“Back in our days, we just…”
If your pregnancy has become open season for opinions, you are not alone. And during the holidays, those comments seem to be never ending.
As a doula, I often feel the same way, and it is SO HARD for me to validate someone’s experiences and thoughts when I disagree or know evidence that supports quite the opposite.
Let’s walk through how to quiet the noise, stay grounded in your choices, and navigate those well-meaning voices with confidence and kindness.
1. Remember Their Advice Comes From Their Experience
Most people aren’t trying to hurt you—they’re trying to connect. You can validate someones experiences, without taking their advice to heart.
Just because someone else experienced something one way doesn’t make their advice right for you.
But understanding this can soften the sting and help you respond from compassion instead of defensiveness.
Try these reframes to keep your peace:
“This isn’t about me doing it wrong—it’s about them wanting to be heard.”
“I can receive their story without taking on their fear.”
“Their advice might reflect their past—but it doesn’t have to shape my future.”
These shifts help reduce emotional reactivity, so you can stay calm, present, and anchored in your own story without carrying theirs.
2. You’re Allowed to Nod, Smile, and Do the Opposite
You don’t owe anyone a debate about your birth plan, your provider, or your supplement routine.
You can simply say:
“That’s interesting, thanks for sharing.”
“We’re doing what feels right for us this time around.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Then move on. No need to explain or defend.
This approach preserves your energy, signals quiet confidence, and keeps your relationships intact—even if your choices look different.
3. Anchor Yourself in Scripture (Not Social Media Opinions)
If everyone’s voice feels louder than your own, it’s time to tune in to truth.
Try meditating on:
Proverbs 3:5-6 — “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…”
James 1:5 — “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God…”
Isaiah 26:3 — “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast…”
God’s peace is steadier than opinion trends. Let His voice lead louder than your cousin’s TikTok birth tip.
Scripture-centered focus helps you discern what’s truly helpful, reduces mental noise, and brings emotional and spiritual clarity. Go check out other scriptures for pregnancy in this blog post!
4. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
If someone continues to offer advice that feels pushy, you can gently say:
“Thanks for caring so much, but we are doing what is best for us and our baby.”
“We’ve prayed about this and feel really confident in our choice.”
“I appreciate your concern, but we’ve got a great support team helping us.”
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh to be clear. Speaking with both clarity and kindness helps protect your emotional space while modeling respectful communication—something you’ll use well beyond birth.
5. Want a Safe Space to Sort Through It All?
Sometimes what you need most is someone who listens without jumping in to fix or judge.
That’s why I offer the Plan & Prep Call—a one-time session where you can:
Ask your real questions
Process your fears or frustrations
Clarify what’s most important to you (and how to protect it)
🌿 Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by opinions or just need to hear, “You’re doing okay,” this call is your space to exhale.
